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The Hardest Thing I have Ever Done

It is quiet.  The air is still. I hear a soft pounding in my chest and my feet on the asphalt.  My heart reminds me of the task at hand: kee...

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Eugene Women's Half

I always do this.  I always think about who this next big run is for.  In the past, I have ran for my husband, my children, the group of MS supporters in my home town who continue to host a team in my name there each year during the annual MS walk.  Heck, I have even dedicated one of these long thing-a-ma-bops to myself.  Why not?

This year, though, I have a different feeling on the eve of another big run.  This year, I am met with the same gratitude that I usually am, to be this far along in training and feeling semi-okay about the day tomorrow.  The usual trepidation is here, sure, but there is also something else.  My MRI last year showed a new lesion, and I panicked.  This year, I learned in the most recent MRI that the lesion they saw last year could have been there as long as eight years ago. Back, forth, back forth...etc.  My stress did not affect the outcome. 

So, I got back on the horse, so to speak.  But I have done things differently.  I have given myself the ability to go slower, not pushing myself like I once did.  I have taken the liberty of going easy, enjoying the process, rather than chiding myself for not being faster/thinner/more elite (ha!)  And in this, I have arrived at this moment in better mental shape than I have for past runs.

So, if I were going to say that tomorrow is "for" someone, I guess I want to pick someone who I think could also use a little lenience on herself/himself.  Yes, I would think that if I need a little push tomorrow when I think of who is along for the ride, or inspiration, I might keep someone like this in mind. 

And I have someone in mind, too.  But let's see how the run goes.

Ready!




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